“If You Love Me, You Will Obey Me” What Jesus Really Meant — and Why It Still Matters

John 14 and 15 are sacred ground.

They capture the last intimate moments Jesus shared with His disciples before the cross.

If you knew it was your last meal with your family, you wouldn’t waste your words. You’d speak with intentionality, urgency, and love. That’s exactly what Jesus did.

And yet, many Christians breeze past this passage or read it with a filter of fear or confusion. We hear words like commandments and obedience and instantly feel like we’re being dragged back into legalism.

But that’s not what Jesus is saying. At all.

Let’s look closely:

“If you love me, keep my commandments.” —John 14:15

“Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me.” —John 14:21

“If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love.” —John 15:10

Over and over, Jesus ties love to obedience. Not because He’s a controlling master, but because He’s a good shepherd. A good Father. A trustworthy King.

But let me be clear:

Jesus didn’t say,

“If you obey me, then I’ll love you.”

He said,

“If you love me, you’ll obey me.”

There’s a world of difference.

Obedience is the Fruit

Not the Entry Fee

We don’t follow Jesus’ commands to earn His love—we follow them because we’ve experienced His love.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone you trust—really trust—you know what this means. You listen to their advice. You value their wisdom. You honor their boundaries. Not out of fear, but out of love.

Let me give you a few examples:

🔸 Example 1: A Parent and Child

A child who trusts their parent doesn’t run into traffic—even if they don’t fully understand why the street is dangerous. Why? Because they trust the parent’s “No” is rooted in love, not control.

That’s how God’s commands work.

They aren’t arbitrary rules—they’re invitations into freedom and safety.

🔸 Example 2: A Marriage

When you love your spouse, you don’t stay faithful just because the law says “Don’t commit adultery.”

You stay faithful because love motivates loyalty.

You honor the covenant because you love the person.

That’s the kind of obedience Jesus is talking about—obedience that comes from relationship, not regulation.

Biblical Example: Abraham

Think about Abraham. God asked him to do something that made no earthly sense—to offer up Isaac, the son he had waited decades for.

Did Abraham obey because he feared God’s rejection? No.

He obeyed because he trusted God’s character—even when the command didn’t make sense.

Obedience was the byproduct of faith.

Faith was the soil.

Obedience was the fruit.

Hebrews 11:8 says,

“By faith Abraham obeyed…”

Faith and obedience go hand in hand.

Why Our Culture Misunderstands This

Today’s culture is deeply suspicious of any authority—especially one that asks for obedience. We’ve been told that freedom means doing whatever feels good.

But the Bible flips that upside down:

“You are a slave to whatever controls you.” —Romans 6:16

Obedience to the Spirit is not bondage.

Obedience to the flesh is.

We’ve watered down grace into something passive. But grace isn’t just God’s kindness—it’s His empowerment.

“The grace of God… teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness…” —Titus 2:11–12

Grace doesn’t excuse sin.

Grace trains us in righteousness.

Real-Life Example: My Own Story

I used to live in a cycle of striving—performing for God, trying to “do better,” trying to “be enough.” But I didn’t truly trust Him. I didn’t understand that He loved me first.

I thought obedience was what got me in the door.

But what really changed me was when I encountered His love in my lowest place.

It was after that floor moment—when I had nothing left to offer—that I began to actually obey from the heart.

Not to earn anything…

But because I trusted Him now.

I had tasted His love. And I never wanted to go back.

So What Does Obedience Look Like Now?

It looks like:

• Saying “no” to temptation because you know God’s way is better

• Forgiving when it’s hard because He forgave you first

• Letting go of control because you trust His timing

• Living with purity, integrity, and faithfulness—not to impress God, but because you’re already deeply loved by Him

Obedience isn’t a prison—it’s the pathway to real freedom.

“If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.” —John 15:5

“Apart from me, you can do nothing.”

The fruit isn’t something we manufacture.

It’s what naturally grows when we stay connected to the Vine.

Final Thought:

If obedience feels heavy to you, it might be because you’re carrying it without trust.

But when you really trust Jesus—when you really know Him—obedience becomes a joyful “yes” instead of a fearful obligation.

CALL TO ACTION:

If you’re walking this line—torn between striving and surrender, rule-following and rebellion—

you’re not alone.

I coach women through this exact wrestle every day.

Together, we uproot the lies that keep us stuck, and plant new roots in God’s truth.

Obedience doesn’t have to be confusing.

It doesn’t have to feel like pressure.

It can be peace.

If you’re ready to explore what trust-based obedience looks like in your life, I’d be honored to walk with you.

📩 Reach out for Christian life coaching at Deeply Rooted Life Coaching

Deeplyrootedwriley@gmail.com

Because you are worthy of choosing good things.