Go Get Your Father

A dream about shame and hiding

Last night I had a dream that I can’t stop thinking about. Which usually means the Holy Spirit wants me to pay attention .

In the dream, I was flying a small plane carrying a huge transport of donated clothing. The clothing was important. There was a lot of it. I remember feeling confident when I first took off.

But right before I landed, something happened and the plane crashed.

I survived, but immediately I was overwhelmed with shame and panic.

Not because I crashed it on purpose.

Not because I was rebellious or reckless.

But because something important had been damaged while I was trying to carry it well.

My first instinct was to clean it up myself.

I started trying to gather the clothes and fix the wreckage alone, but quickly realized I couldn’t do it. (Spoiler alert: this is the gospel) And the entire time, I was terrified to go tell the owner of the plane — who in the dream was also my father.

(Not my earthly father. A father figure.)

When I finally went to him, I expected anger.

Disappointment.

Frustration.

Instead, he simply said:

“Okay. We need to go find the wreckage. Show me where it is.”

There was no panic.

No shame.

No rejection.

Just truth and partnership.

To get there, we had to cross this disgusting pond. It was murky and thick with snakes, bugs, and this gelatinous layer over the top. I did not want to go through it.

But he walked ahead of me and kept saying:

“Follow me. You’ll be okay.”

I slipped several times.

I struggled.

But I made it across because he led me.

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When I woke up, I realized the deepest part of the dream was not actually the crash.

It was the revelation that the father was still with me after it.

I think so many of us spend our lives trying to hide wreckage.

We throw a tarp over it and pretend it isn’t there.

Maybe it was intentional.

Maybe it was an accident.

Maybe it was your fault.

Maybe it wasn’t.

At some point, the details stop mattering because the wreckage is still there underneath the covering.

And you know it.

You think about it lying awake at night.

You think about it when you wake up in the morning.

You carry it into conversations.

Into relationships.

Into church.

Into your prayer life.

You are constantly aware of the thing you are trying to hide.

We hide addiction.

We hide depression.

We hide marriage problems.

We hide relapse.

We hide burnout.

We hide mistakes.

We hide shame.

We hide the parts of our story that feel damaged beyond repair.

Why?

Because many of us learned somewhere along the way that mistakes make us unsafe.

Some people grew up in homes where accidents were met with rage.

Some learned that failure meant humiliation.

Some learned to scramble and fix everything before anyone found out.

So we carry that same mindset into our relationship with God.

We think repentance means:

“Let me clean this up myself first.”

But biblical repentance is not self-repair before returning to God.

Repentance is turning toward Him in honesty.

It is going to the Father and saying:

“I messed this up and I need Your help.”

Sometimes the wreckage truly is accidental.

Sometimes it is absolutely the result of our own sin and choices.

The principle still applies.

Go get your Father.

Not because He is unaware.

Not because He excuses sin.

Not because consequences are not real.

But because hiding has never healed anyone.

In Genesis, Adam and Eve hid after shame entered the picture.

But throughout Scripture, God continually moves toward broken people who come into the light.

Peter denied Jesus.

David wrecked lives through sin.

The prodigal son squandered everything.

And yet over and over again, the invitation remained:

Come back.

Tell the truth.

Walk with Me through the aftermath.

That is what grace does.

Grace does not say:

“The crash doesn’t matter.”

Grace says:

“You do not have to face the wreckage alone.”

Some of you are exhausted because you are trying to carry wreckage by yourself that was never meant to be carried alone.

Jesus is not asking you to hide it better.

He is asking you to bring it to Him.

It does not matter how bad it is.

It does not matter how long you have covered it.

It does not matter how ashamed you feel.

He can help you clean it up.

Go get your Father.

Tell Him what happened.

And let Him walk you through the cleanup.

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